theKeithShow

This is a new segment where I will bring you a snap shot from my day around Los Angeles. Working for Nickelodeon I go to a great many places around town and frequently cross paths with some of the more eccentric sides of the city. Other times my job has me doing ridiculous things that I wish to share with you all so that you out of towners see that Hollywood can be far from glamorous.

This kick-off photo is the greeter at “IKEA”. For those of you who are not familiar with “IKEA”, it is a giant, Swedish based, furniture store that has everything you could possibly need for your home. They also sell food at ridiculously cheap prices ($1 frozen yogurt cones, 2 hot dogs a bag of chips and a soda for $2.25, etc.). As you can see here, they also specialize in top-notch customer service. This has to be in the running for top 5 worst jobs in Hollywood. This schmo has to stand there for an entire shift and acknowledge every cheapskate looking for a $150 sofa. Here’s what I can conclude just from looking at this man.

1) Still lives with his mom : I have no doubts he still lives with mom in a two bedroom house in Burbank. When his shift is over he has to hustle right home because mom has meatloaf on the table. Come on, look at the watermelon under this guys shirt and tell me he doesn’t cherish his mother’s meatloaf!

2) Is a virgin : You don’t allow yourself to be pushed around to the point where this is how you make a living if you have had intercourse with a woman. This guy’s self-esteem went out the window when he realized they stopped making “Beta” tapes.

3) Will eventually murder : Behind those coke bottle glasses and insincere smile is a lunatic plotting the demise of several former schoolmates. Every day he nods at people as they enter the store knowing said person may not be making it out alive once he detonates the dynamite he has laid out in all the AC ducts. I mean you would so the same thing if your closet was filled with nothing but yellow clothes.