Tag Archive for 'one on one'

One on One W/ Keith

pirate-keith.jpgOne on One w/ Keith:

Q: If you were filthy rich and could do anything for a living what would you do?

A: Drive an ice cream truck but secretly serve frozen yogurt to curb child obesity rates.

Q: Rumor has it you have never smoked pot, why is that?

A: I drink and gamble. I can live without my liver and an empty wallet, but a stomach full of potato chips and gummy bears is where I draw the line.

Q: Is it true you hate the ocean and refuse to go into it?

A: It is a misconception that I hate the ocean. I will enter the ocean to nipple depth then retreat. I don’t hate the ocean, I RESPECT the ocean in that it has the ability to kill me without notice. I also don’t care for the food that comes from the ocean because I prefer to eat things that don’t bathe in nuclear weapon tested waters.

Q: What tv commercial irritates you the most?

A: I have come to loathe the Dr Shoall’s commericals where people ask eachother “are you gelin’ ” I want to take a crow bar to everyone in that commercial. “I’m like Magellan I’m sooo gelin’ ” That doesn’t make any sense! How does shoe inserts have anything to do with the first man to sail around the world?? I mean who invests thousands of dollars in these ads?

Q: Do you have any plans to make a sex tape?

A: God knows I tried, but I just couldn’t get any distributors interested. Some said “it was the furthest thing from sexy I have ever seen” and “I think you’re at the wrong place, the Discovery channel is three buildings down”. Currently working on the sequel.

Got a question for Keith? Go ahead and ask it tough guy! Email (keithhannon@yahoo.com) , facebook, or leave a comment right here on the site. He will answer promptly and honestly.